Hi Everyone…or whoever might read this. It has been a while since I even tried to put words on a blank page. Life got in the way. Doesn’t it always?
The past couple of years have been interesting and filled with changes. My life isn’t any different from yours. The players and scenarios might be different, but we all have “something” we are dealing with at all times. Sometimes they are singular, but other times they are stacked. When it is the latter, that is when the “me” or “you” gets put on the back burner. It is so easy forget to find time for YOU.
Recently I expressed to a dear friend that I felt like my life “isn’t my own”. I was juggling too many things at once. It was a season in my life that I was trying to hold everything up. Even the two hours a week I cherished, my yoga class, was on hold. My morning routines came to a screeching halt, my days became so glued to strict time schedules that I had to schedule time to pee. I couldn’t find time for me — even a little bit, my sparkle (as I call it) had dimmed immensely. That statement was my cry for help – my wakeup call.
In my heart, I knew that this would be temporary, or at least eventually the situational stackables would finally start to become short enough that I could see over. What is the saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same things over and over again expecting different results?” What was I doing to break out of the things that were figuratively suffocating me?
During this time, I realized I had gotten away from stating my ‘gratefuls’. It was so easy to disappear from that mindset. Therefore, I started recognizing something that was a good part of the day. It could be as random as a beautiful flower, seeing a hawk or a deer, or receiving a call or text from someone you didn’t expect.
What really started me on my trajectory of finding myself again was when I decided to Uber Eats a small meal to a couple who had the razor blade throat Covid. I haven’t told anyone about it, not even hubs (I feel that a deed that makes you feel good needs to stay in your heart). Whether they ate it or threw it away, it doesn’t matter to me. It was a way for me to show love from across the country.
Even though I haven’t made it completely through my season, I feel that I am slowing finding my way back to me. Boundaries have been set. I am readjusting schedules so that I can find time for me.
I pray that you never experience life’s stackables so tall that you can’t see over them. But if you find yourself there, please don’t forget to keep your “gratefuls” in your sight.
With Love, Blessings, and Peace